This time of year always makes me restless. It's like the world is going through a rebirth-and in a way, it is. Brown, lifeless ground begins to give way to the slender green growth that will carpet the country in a few months. Trees that looked like giant sticks of firewood start to show the first signs of the buds that will become fragrant blossoms and glossy leaves. I see it in the coats of our horses before I ever see it anywhere else. Fluffy, furry, not much unlike the coat of grizzly bear, they pack a good two or three inches of insulation warmth around all winter. Our horses lived outside all winter-they're tough guys. No blankets, well, only when they'd ride to town in the stock trailer.... That dense winter growth has begun to loosen it's hold on their hides, a little at a time. A week or a month from now will bring on the sunshine and longer days that will flip that proverbial "Shed" switch...minor flurries of horse hair will be intermitten as I desperately work with a shedding blade trying to "keep up with the fluff." Jackson's little mare packs long hair all year around, even in the hottest times of the summer she has an almost goat like profile if she isn't attacked with a set of clippers once a month.
Spring showers bring on such a change in this part of the world, it's always a welcome relief for me to see rain forecasts instead of the ice, snow and sleet that we all too often see in the dead of winter in the Osage. As I look out on our pecan tree, bleak and leafless, I think back to last summer...it was glorious about June, just thick with glossy green leaves. Our nurse cow, Clementine, could more often than not be found napping under it for the longest parts of the day, perfectly content to rest in it's shade. It was always tempting for Woodrow to reach out and try to grab a mouthful of leaves as we would trot by in the evenings, just for the sake of doing it I suppose....
This time of year is all about transitions-from brown and lifeless to green and abundant....dry and dusty to wet and muddy. Fluffy and hairy to shedding fur balls.... The last few years, spring has been a rough time for me. When things change drastically, suddenly, violently even-it's hard to accept sometimes. In the spring of 2004 I was dealing with a self inflicted move, to a part of the country that was drastically unlike everything I'd grown up in. The people, the places, it was all different. I was struggling, I admitted it to myself but refused to give in. Two months after my move, I lost an amazing friend from my life. It was one of the hardest things I'd ever been through, but there again, it was a transition. With the loss of that friend came the loss of others, in one way or another.
Fast forward-A year later found me in love with a man that I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I'd never been one for long relationships, I was always the first to bail out when things got serious....my way of thinking was that it was better to leave, and hurt yourself than to let yourself be hurt. Jason changed that for me, so once again, it was another transition for me. Learning that love doesn't have to hurt was refreshing to say the least! I was still struggling with some things, things that now that I look back, made me a different person. I have no regrets with any of the decisions I've ever made. I do wish that I would've reacted differently in some of the situations that I went through, but you know-hindsight is 20/20.
This spring is one full of anticipation and excitement for me! Our little girl will be here in the near future, so that will open a whole new chapter for our lives. I'm excited for her to get here, and so excited for all the things life may hold for her. I'm so anxious to be able to go catch on of my horses, saddle up and ride. I went almost two years without riding at all after I had Jackson. I really felt like I was just "getting my groove back" when we found out we were having Jolie. It was almost bittersweet-as excited as I was to have this new addition to our family, I knew it meant taking a break from my beloved ponies for awhile. I know that it hasn't hurt them a bit to just be horses for the last few months, but I still miss riding. It won't be much longer. Maybe that's part of the reason we were blessed with Jolie-so that I wouldn't rush things. It could've been the good Lord's way of saying, "Alright-slow down. Don't get ahead of yourself." Then again, I think I'll shy away from making assumptions about the big guy upstairs...he knows the way things should be, so it's not my place to jump to conclusions! I will say it has probably taught me a little more in the way of hanging back and being patient, which is always a good thing.